Yesterday was Mooter’s first day of first grade. I tried my best to be Suzy GoodParent and take photos of my child leaving the house. But Murphy’s Law was in full affect. So pictures were not in the cards. What replaced this ambition was a sense of hurried chaos between bites of cereal, hair combing, getting dressed and feeding/walking the dog. If you’ve ever experienced such a morning and was still able to wear a photographer hat, I hate you. Oh, and you’re not human. Yeah, just want to throw …

As Mooter expands her vocabulary, our conversations are as follows:
Mooter: [shouting] MOM! REMEMBER THAT EPISODE OF iCARLY…
Me: I’m right here, kid. Turn it down a few notches.
Mooter: [normal decibels] Oh, yeah. Mom. Remember that episode of iCarly, when that girl, I don’t remember her name because I forgot it, she was singing and she made the glass broked?
Me: Break.
Mooter: Huh?
Me: She made the glass break.
Mooter: That’s what I said. I said… wait a minute. It’s not “broked”?
Me: No.
Mooter: Then what IS it? Are you tricking me again?
Me: Break means it …

Mooter is nearing the end of her Kindergarten year. She’s come quite a ways from the bashful, mush-mouthed runt she was in August to the clearer speaking but barely audible, bashful young lady [I think I just died a little when I typed that].
Her teacher has assigned her end-of-year projects that she will get tested on at the end of this week. Her assignments are to have memorized the following:
The Pledge of Allegiance
Hail Mary
The act of making the sign of the cross
The snack time prayer
The morning prayer
Our Father [a.k.a. The …

Last week, during my excursion to the ER with Booger, I was asked several times by nurses, residents and respiratory specialists how old Booger was. Because Math was never my strong suit and I’ve apparently been slacking on keeping up with the ages of my children, I said nineteen months. When asked her birthdate, I proudly exclaimed May 1st. Soon after, the attending came in for final prognosis and ordered the staff to give Booger a work-up of Albuterol breathing treatments. Imagine my shock when, as the staff questioned whether …