Age In Revolt

March 8, 2010 by NaysWay · Leave a Comment 

Age In Revolt

Ladies and gentlemen. This is what 50 looks like.

This is also what it looks like when you have this little thing in your skin biologically called “melanin”.

Age In Revolt

This is one of my aunt-in-laws. (Aunt by marriage? Aunt on the side?) She is one of the many in the brood of BFam’s relatives.

She’s a purdy lady.

Her family was nice enough to get together and throw a fantastic shin dig in her honor for her milestone day. It was warm. It was loving. It was full of nice things to say. It was one of the first times I’d been to an event where others showed how much they loved you while you were still living.

There’s no impact in telling someone when they’re dead.

Age In Revolt

This is Booger’s favoritest cousin in the whole wide world. She’s not that much younger than me, and she is the eldest child of Aunt Purdy Lady. They’ve heard this all her life (and I’m sure they’re pretty sick of it), but they could pass for twins. TWINS, I tells ‘ya. From their hair, to their demeanor, to their sense of fashion. It’s uncanny. And scary! She’s been apart of Booger’s daycare regimen since she was a little babe in swaddling clothes. These two have a special bond. She’s a good egg. I think we’ll keep her.

Age In Revolt

This is another one of the cousins. Little hamburger that he is. He could be such a ladies man if he weren’t just so darn silly! I like him.

Age In Revolt

This is BFam’s dad. He, BFam and BFam’s brother, Stoopid, all share the same government name. In our earlier days of dating, calling his home was a very confusing time. I was happy when they all adopted nicknames I could freely call them. BFam’s dad – let’s call him That Man – That Man, when asked to be, is pretty funny. The family was hardly surprised when Stoopid called home (in one of his many nomadic stupors) to tell us he was trying his hand at comedy. As long as I’ve known them, all three men have been hilarious crack-ups, keeping relatives in stitches. Of course, I’d be married to the one who never wants anyone to know he’s funny but me (see: Curmudgeon Saint Cranky Pants).

That Man was asked to roast his sister. Since his sister (and most of his family, including himself) is of the spiritual cloth, it wasn’t quite as blue of a roast as, say, Bea Arthur for Pamela Anderson. (Oh, that’s bad. Evacuate the kiddies before playing.) It was tasteful and classy. Lots of inside jokes, jabs at early childhood hairdos. Very loving, brotherly-type stuff.

I’ve said it before, but BFam’s family is large. With any family, you meet obstacles, conflicts in personalities, arguments, rough patches. If you’re the Kennedys, you meet scandals. But out of all their differences (knowing of and having witnessed several myself), it was very nice to see them all come together to celebrate the baby sister of the bunch.

Age In Revolt

The purdy lady.

[Photographic credit: Mooter (go, Mooter, go!)]

Electric Boogie

February 24, 2010 by NaysWay · Leave a Comment 

My family (BFam, the kids, Bo) and I are not traditionalists. We like to do things as weirdly as possible because… well, I don’t know why. I’m bitter, BFam’s cranky, and then we had kids. You guessed it – instant recipe for disaster. When everyone was going out to dinner, buying flowers, going to the movies, and a host of other cliches on Valentine’s Day, I bought BFam DJ Hero and called it a day. “Here honey. Love you. Now go play.”

We, as the parents, are never without moments for teaching opportunities. Our brood are at the respective ages where they actually like us, want to be with us and, if they can, try their darndest to emulate us. BFam and I were never too keen on self confidence growing up, so the thought of raising two girls who want nothing more than to be our reflection is all at once cute and confusing and icky. We are a range of emotion varying from flattered to overtly repulsed. Our physical reactions are very Marcel Marceau, almost always resulting in us as puddles on the floor. Despair in Still Life, canvas and oil.

In all our writhing and thrashing on the ground with compliments, we are both surprisingly competitive. You can tell us how awesome we are with a video game, just don’t tell us you love us. BFam was a lucky man finding a chick who shared his video game passions, and that’s not tooting my horn. How many women do you know who can kick butt in Contra AND know the cheat code (up up down down left right left right B A)? Oh, yeah, baby. You don’t want none of this! Mooter is smart. She’s picked up the gaming gene and ran full force with it. And Mommy and Daddy can play the game with me? WHAT? Have you made my coffin yet because I’m ready to die.

Enter our teaching opportunity. No one has soaked this in more than BFam. He won’t tell me but, secretly, I think he wanted at least one of these broads to be a boy.

Master Obi Wan? Rock that beat…



And, no. He did not know he was being taped but HOW CUTE WAS THAT LITTLE DANCE? Also, SCORE POINTS FOR THE WIFE! WOO-HOO!!!

(I’m so going to pay for that.) Also? Please excuse my camerawork. I don’t know what I was focusing on. The drapes, maybe?

Also? Please excuse Mooter’s allergies.

That is all.

Mooter loves the chance to impress her father. She is a young Jedi after all. DJ Hero… let’s just say it’s not one of those types of games that allow you to show off, per se.



I can’t begin to analyze this performance because I am SUCKTASTIC on DJ Hero. It’s alright. I openly admit defeat. DJ’ing is just not my thing.

But you can’t tell that to DJ Rocks-A-Lot / a.k.a. DJ Fader / a.k.a. DJ Snot Tot. That midget is vicious on the ones and twos.

Valenti Day

February 17, 2010 by NaysWay · Leave a Comment 

BFam and I aren’t big on Valentine’s Day. You’d figure someone as heartwarmingly loving toward Christmas as I am, would have a greater fondness of the holiday for lovers.

Then you’ll realize I just hurled because I said “lovers”. And now I feel all dirty. Thanks a lot.

So surprise when Mooter, the anti-me, had herself a little countdown for the day. I could have easily sat her down and explained to her the falsehoods and sheer idiocy behind such a farse, but I am constantly reminding myself that she’s eight. And I am an old, bitter thirty two-year-old.

Feh.

And when you’re as wide-eyed and bushy tailed as my endearing, bleeding heart daughter, you get things like this:

DSC_0251

Then you feel like this:


So, you know. There’s that.

To show my allegiance to the can’t-beat-’em-join-’em brigade, I did things for my daughters (and husband) I am not proud of.

DSC_0250
I baked.

What’s the big deal, you say? If you knew me, you’d know this is an extremely big deal. I don’t bake. I don’t cook. Not to say that I can’t. I can. I’m not too shabby at either. Even better, I love food. I think it’s comforting and sentimental and elevating. Yes, I’m still talking about food. But the work. The slaving. The heat of the stove. The standing. The gnashing of teeth. It’s too much. It’s enough to disprove my love of food.

Then I saw a recipe that spoke to me.

DSC_0265
Lucky for my children, it spoke to them, too.

DSC_0255
Oh. Oh, my word.

DSC_0262
This is… oh.

DSC_0261
I feel so dirty. This is not fit for little people. Cover their eyes.

DSC_0252
The eating of the cupcake should have been outlawed in several states.

DSC_0245
I’m not a foodblogger. The thought of cooking alone sends me into fits of rage. I couldn’t imagine mustering enough patience sitting through shot after shot after shot after shot of the cooking. And the raging. Oh, the raging. It wouldn’t be pretty. And no one would follow it because I’d be too busy cursing and throwing things. God bless those who do it and do it well, but…

It ain’t me.

[The recipe that spoke to me: Life By Chocolate from The Pioneer Woman]

DSC_0247

Date Night

January 28, 2010 by NaysWay · Leave a Comment 

DSC_0012

Almost ten years of marriage, and thirteen years of togetherness, I can count our date nights on one hand. Remember dating? Remember how easy it was? Always on the other person’s mind. The flowers. The cards. The stupid love notes. Then you get married and have the house and the jobs and the responsibilities, never mind the kids because how the heck did you get there when you don’t even remember your name let alone doing the thing that produces kids in the first place!

I could say “marriage is work” but it’s so cliche. Any relationship is work, be it with your spouse/significant other, children, parents, in-laws. Especially if I don’t like you, do you know how much work I just put into TRYING TO ACT LIKE I DO?! I’M EXHAUSTED.

Date nights are necessary with your luvah. (Sorry, I just channeled Molly Shannon then.) BFam and I are making vows to each other to try and be more grown up this year, ditch the kids whenever we can, and take time to remember why we like each other, let alone love each other. Which leads me to my question…

When was your last “date night”?

From My Good Side

January 26, 2010 by NaysWay · 2 Comments 

DSC_0076
Every now and then, I get caught in front of the camera instead of behind it. Where I like it. Where it’s warm and safe and filled with Snuggies. The culprit? Mootana Eloise Fitzpatrick, also known as Mooter. Her tries with “the big camera”, as she calls it, turn out to be happy accidents of photographic genius.

Except for this one. This is just… an eight-year-old on sugar? I’m sure it’s artistic somewhere. Australia, probably.