The One In The Church
February 8, 2010 by NaysWay · 2 Comments
I’ll admit. I haven’t been to church in a long, long time. So color me confused when I had a dream about church. And not just any dream…
Dig if you will a Catholic church. Oh, yes. My dreams are specific. Not Episcopalian. Not Lutheran. Not Methodist. Catholic. I am not Catholic, so there you go with that logic. And, I’m speculating, but there’s some type of AA-style meeting going on because the priest isn’t in the pulpit. He’s seated in a folding chair, smoking a cigarette and I’m all hey, that priest is smoking! but apparently I’m the only one that cares because everyone else just looks at me like, yeah? So? And I’m not alone. I have *airquotes* friends with me? I have no idea who these people are, but they’re my dream posse. And we’re in the church with the smoking priest (Did I mention he was black? I feel like I may have left that part out. Not relevant, just, you know, BLACK CATHOLIC PRIEST? WTF?!) And, although I’m not Catholic, my father was so I’ve been in those churches. Oh, and Mooter was Catholic for her first two years of grade school, so there’s that. Then my one friend, from college, is Catholic and I was in her wedding, and it was very Catholic. And long. Anyway, I kind of know how services go. And we sit in our pew with our Bible. But we have two Bibles. And the priest tells us to turn to the book of something where “something” means smrfkoikarejlkajfdalk because that’s how it sounded, and my friends are all WHUUUUH? Then one of the missionary women comes over to us and hands us ANOTHER Bible (that’s right, Bible number three) and says, “Honey, you’re looking in the wrong Bible. He said turn to the book of Caboose.” And I’m all, OH, because that makes TOTAL SENSE. And my friends are still looking at me like WHUUUUH? and I whip through Bible #3 for the book of Caboose. Because, obviously, we’re in a Western.
Is there an analyzer in the house? The Book of Caboose? Seriously?! That is so the last time I take Tylenol Cold & Flu before bed. Curse you, McNeil Pharmaceutical.
Cover art: Bristol Cathedral by Gary Newman on Flickr
Well, if nothing else, your dream was entertaining. I am Catholic, born and raised. My mother converted to Catholicism just prior to marrying my father. She had grown up sans religion in Pennsylvania. Although, she spoke like she was Jewish.
Sadly, I am not a dream analyzer…the only thing I can think is that you were asked to turn to the book of Caboose, because like with most things Catholic, you were waiting for it to be over – Caboose would have to be the final book of the Bible, right?
I’m thinking so. Maybe taking a train to Armageddon or something? LOL!