…But Now I See Your Nuts (I thank you.)

Last month… last month was a hard month. I’m still wading through it mainly because I know it’s not over. And I know what happens to me when I go to my dark and twisty places. I feel like I’m better at coping when I pack my bags and go there without alerting anyone. I go away for short jaunts instead of long hiatuses.

I’ve said it before. I’m not a mushy person. I’m just… not. I don’t know. I love people. I know how to say I love them. But I am an emotional oil slick. So when I say my husband’s full-time job in our relationship is saving my life, I guess I’m saying it more for myself than you, my one reader.

During our anniversary, BFam took me to the mall. Not to torture me with our economic misfortunes, but to give me a change of scenery and take me to a specific food court that not only has a variety of things I’d want, but that he’d stomach as well. Not an easy feat if you knew him. He asked that we take our food to go, also typical of him since social settings prove difficult for him if he’s surrounded by large rooms of strangers. I thought we’d take the food home. The kids were out of the house. We were alone – just us and Bo who would be more than happy to see us, smell our food and sneeze in our faces – so it just seemed routine. But we hopped in the car. And he drove. To the park. And you wouldn’t think this was a big deal because, honestly, it wasn’t. But we found a nice spot, ate our food, listened to music and laughed, then found a trail to walk. In the middle of the day. In the sunshine. Alone. It was so quiet, so perfect and peaceful… that I made him drive me all the way home so I could get my camera. (Did I ever tell you being a mood killer was one of my specialties?) Luckily, our house isn’t that far away and we were able to easily slide back into the mood I’d just ruined.

Along the trail, we stopped and found an unpaved path toward the creek at the bottom of a foothill. There are signs everywhere asking you please, please please PLEASE don’t go into the creek because the currents are unpredictable and, oh, I don’t know, PEOPLE HAVE DIED THERE. And I had on flip flops. But my husband knows his wife, and knows that once she has her mind made up, well. That creek sign was for everyone else. Not her. And he sat on a boulder while I snapped photos of life, nature, and the in-between. This photo was one of my results and it’s not too shabby, if I do say so myself. Of course, when I showed it to BFam, he quoted Austin Power’s Goldmember. And if I was in a funk, that one moment quickly pulled me out.

I have my husband – that dear, sweet, jerk of a man – to thank for that.