History Fail

Hold onto your horses, but I’m going to be wild and crazy today and post twice. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s the impending snow storm hovering over the city that’s got me all footloose and fancy free. Maybe I have so much to say. I can guarantee you I don’t, but let’s pretend…

Vacations suck. They’re needed, don’t get me wrong, but when you get back to the real world, you realize you need a vacation from your vacation. And I don’t consider the two weeks I had off as an escape from anything considering my two muchkins stayed home with me. Especially when all they do is eat everything in the house not nailed down. I have GOT to get to Costco and renew my membership. These mutants are ridiculous! “Mommy, can I have… Mommy, can I try… Mommy, I’m so hungry… Mommy, my stomach hurts… Mommy, Mommy, Mommy.” I’m retiring.

Luckily, all of the working world can rejoice for there is yet another holiday to take advantage of coming just around the corner in the form of Martin Luther King, Jr. Day. Unfortunately, he had to die for us to have it, but we all have our ways of showing our appreciation. At least, I hope we do. Mooter’s school, God love ‘em, has taken it upon themselves to teach her, and her other pigment enhanced friends, about her heritage and this MLK person. (There is a small ratio of them in the school, so maybe they are fulfilling an affirmative action policy. I don’t know.) In being taught, she’s been perusing a few books in her school library. Here’s how her research has been shaping up (keep in mind I’m talking to a seven-year-old; our grammar not so good yet):

Mooter: Mommy, can you tell me about the man they shot?
Me: Moot, a lot of people get shot everyday. You’re going to have to be specific.
Mooter: The man they shot. Martin Luther Kingdom. Why they shot Martin Luther Kingdom?
Me: Oh! Oh, OK. First, his name is Martin Luther King… Jr. And, uh, well, honey… there were some people that didn’t like the things he talked about and a bad man came and shot him.
Mooter: Did the man that shot Martin Luther King… was he wearing a purple hat and some brown pants?
Me: What?!
Mooter: [slowly] The. Man. That. Shot. Martin. Luther. Kingdom. Was he wearing brown pants and a purple hat?
Me: Mooter, no one saw the man when he shot him.
Mooter: I DID!
Me: That’s impossible. Unless you tell me, right now, that you had a DREAM you saw the man who shot him, I can’t believe anything you say from this point on.
Mooter: Mommy. I sawed him. Why you think I’m tricking you?
Me: I don’t think you’re tricking me. I think you don’t know what you’re saying.
Mooter: [indignant] I SAWED him, Mommy.
Me: OK, humor me. How did you see him? And it’s “saw” not “sawed” unless he wore a leather clown mask and forced people to chop off their own body parts.
Mooter: Huh?
Me: Never mind. The man. How did you see him?
Mooter: In my book. At school. In the library. My teacher told us to read about him, and I sawed… saw?
Me: Saw.
Mooter: …him in one of my books. I am telling you, Mommy.
Me: OK, Moot.
Mooter: Mommy? When did they shot him?
Me: Shoot. A long time ago before Mommy was born. When your Nana (my mother) was a little girl.
Mooter: Whoa. [pondering] Did he die?
Me: Last time I checked, yes.
Mooter: What? I thought he was stilled alive.
Me: No. And his birthday is coming up soon, and we celebrate his life and all the good things he did when he was alive.
Mooter: Like not have school or work, right Mommy? Can we stay home and play the (video) game?

I just love history lessons.

Image provided by Time Inc. Copyright 1968