You know you’ve been bit by the politic bug pretty badly when you start scaring your own mother. You especially know it’s bad when you have made up in your mind that you’re getting up Saturday morning to go to your local Board of Elections to participate in the Absentee In House Voting option. That’s right, folks. Early voting, here I come.

In the meantime…

Whoever said hard heads make soft behinds apparently never told a lie in their lives. This kid? This kid right here? This kid whose Western astrological sign is The Bull and whose Eastern astrological sign is The Dog just for good measure so she’s twice as stubborn? This kid who eyeballs you and dares you to beat her senseless then cries like her life ended soon after the bloodshed?

She wants to die. Don’t let the chubby cheeks fool you. We are in the throes of potty training. We, her parents, and her caregivers, are exhausted. We are fighting an admirable foe, you see. While the potty is understood in it’s concept, it is mocked. It is only used in the mornings when the beast is semi-conscious and not quite understanding that she’s sitting and peeing. It is laughed at when this same beast pees in her training diaper then exclaims, “I finish. Pee-pee on the toilet,” all after the fact, and concludes by traipsing around the house singing “pee-pee on the toi-let! Pee-pee on the toi-let!” like an accomplishment has actually been made.

Devil, you have a name. Thine name be Booger.