Almost a whole week and no posts. What am I thinking? Well…

Remember that last post I wrote about my sinuses and how they were plotting against me with their evil congestion, swelling, fever and mucus? Let me just say out of all my sinus infections, this one rates closely with the one that had me in bed for two days. I would give it a 9. I could have very easily been bed ridden had I only realized the heat I was feeling was indeed from my body’s internal core and not the unforgiving ozone and UV rays. Special shot-outs to these guys for pulling me through:

Then, I may have mentioned how our home situation was less than ideal. In the last month and a half, “less than ideal” has graduated to “get the hell out now”. We are in Level Orange territory. We’ve had our cars broken into three times - in our driveway - and our neighbors 4×4 completely stolen. To make matters worse, a family member has warranted the Clerk of Courts to serve the “Unknown Tenants If Any” an issuance stating the Landlord (she knows who she is) has given up her rights to the house due to unpaid taxes, and the house - my grandmother’s, her mother’s - now belongs to Property Taxes R’ Us. Oh, and you know that private school your eldest child was attending and that tuition you were doling out every month? Tack that onto a rent agreement in your brand new, first time, hurriedly found, rent-to-own home.

I can’t be too mad at the need to move into a home. We’ve wanted it. It’s been more than a necessity for years, now. But the timing couldn’t be worse. In a family allergic to change, this move will prove to be more than taxing on the pockets. Mooter has all but taken out an ad in The Plain Dealer expressing her wish to take the only home she’s ever known and simply move it to whatever the new location will be. Her father, King of What-Ifs and reality checks, has grown two shades darker, and his furrowed brow has begun to make its way from his forehead to his cornea. I believe he could make them knit a sweater of eyebrow hair at this point. And I’m almost positive his gray hair count has tripled from the fifty we could see, to an exponentially high two hundred. And I’m just spit-balling that number. It could easily be more.

We’ve gone over the pros and cons. Weighed out our finances. Come to the realization that, while we talked about a budget in the past, them days of talking are over. We will have to live, eat, breathe, sleep a budget. We are preparing ourselves for the nights we anticipate and three a.m. scream from our eldest as she will have no idea who’s room she’s in, or who’s bed, or who’s house. We’ve even thrown in the industrial size bottle of enzyme cleaner we will have to use for Commander Bo Boceephis as he will most assuredly want to mark every inch of the formerly uninhabited by pets home just for good measure.

We may go kicking and screaming, but it’s time to pull the curtain on this show. Oh, and did I mention the washing machine broke down? Also, not to mention a certain someone has decided to reach a milestone in her crib-to-toddler bed progression:

I’m just trying to leave before the house catches on fire, or we’re eaten by a swarm of locusts. Or our bathwater turns to blood.