Waste of a Good-Looking Man

Before BFam and I were reacquainted in friendship and, ultimately, a relationship, I was friends with his family. This is weird because you normally hear of the arrangement happening the other way around. And, honestly, who befriends their suitor’s family? Granted, once this same family realized I was dating their son, I was given a less than warm and fuzzy reception. Invitations to dinner were replaced with shrunken heads and voodoo dolls at my doorstep. OK, not really, but it’s all they could do to keep from ripping the flesh from my face with their eyes.

One of the fastest friends I made out of the family was BFam’s youngest brother, Stoopid. This is not his real name but, remember, I don’t use those here. I would have had it not been for the fact that Stoopid and BFam and their father and their grandfather all share the same name. And, no, it’s not George.

Stoopid had the kind of infectious humor that could make you do one of two things: slap him or crack up. Any given day, it’s basically a toss up and he’s keenly aware of this affect he has on people.

Seven years ago, Stoopid – an aspiring comedian – came out of the closet to his parents. Although he had no problem attracting the ladies, it was picked up on by those closest to him that the feelings may not have been reciprocated.

Long described as good-looking, and knowing it, he took a bruise to the ego when he was randomly attacked while living in Las Vegas by a knife-wielding crazy person. The result was a significant scar from the start of his brow line, across his nose, and onto a small portion of his cheek. He was also stabbed in his thigh and, as the doctors would tell his family later, was just inches away from losing his life had the knife punctured his artery. Nowadays, you can barely notice the scar – on his face, anyway.

The family recently traveled to the college graduation of the clan’s sister. Knowing full well my spawns wouldn’t last in what would be their first extensive road trip, I opted to stay home. BFam was nice enough to send photos to my cell phone. Photos of his vain brother in all his celebrity wannabe-ism. When I showed the photos to my mother and other female co-workers, the reaction was the same: “What a waste of a good-looking man.”

Stoopid finds this both flattering and humorous, a true testament to that slap or crack up power he exudes.